It was becoming increasingly clear to me that I had no innate ability at drawing or painting. I could not depict something as I saw it or how I wanted it to look. Work was loose, amorphas, out of proportion with little or no aesthetic value - to my eye. But I love paint and color. Doggedly ( what a funny word, I wonder where it comes from) I pursued this misplaced thirst, this elusive goal, this unsatiable appetite to depict coherently and eloquently what struck my eye what cried out for representation to those who might not see it.
Passion for paint and my husband who said, “You see what I dont”, kept the drive focused. Little by little something would click but it was taking so many clicks to make an entire piece work. In previous threads I have attempted to describe some of those tidbits that were critical to build a foundation to achieve my goals. I developed a mantra though, from this journey, it is, I want to be able to paint what I want to paint not just what I am able to paint. And I realized I was on this journey not for completion of a solid painting but for the learning of how to do it. Once this dawned on me that it was the problem solving so I could depict that tree tenderly and empathetically and with grace, I realized this is fun, this is good, this is right. I am a problem solver. That is my innate ability - to be comfortable knowing I do not know something and going out and finding out more about it. When my babies were little my mother said, “ Yes you will make mistakes, but your babies are works of art in process.” Parenting/Painting/Living is about saying, “Yup I was wrong let me go learn some more and and recalibrate!”
I am still not very good at the craft of my chosen medium - visual depiction. I do not call my self an artist and I dont really have a need to do so as I have learned that word means something different to almost everyone with whom I have spoken. It is after all merely a watered down general label. I am a pattern seeker and problem solver. I will continue to work at rendering what I have seen that I so desperately want to share with you.
There is so much out and about Schoodic I want to share but I am just not good enough yet to render it with the perception and conviction it deserves. Stay tuned - those images will come someday!
Epiphany #20 - Doggedly problem solving to recalibrate is my art. What is yours?
How did I miss this one? I love it!